Thursday, October 7, 2010
They got it wrong, I was 210. -KW
I just saw some newspaper clippings from when KW was a heavyweight boxer in 1977. What a guy! He was 19 years old, and the tallest one in every picture. There was one picture with him punching a guy in the face. He said that that guy was taller than him, but he broke his nose in that fight. I'm so impressed!
Thursday, September 30, 2010
This is the best sentence in an email that I've ever received from a professor.
...they weren't able to begin any jerboa biomechanics-xray video work because she had no extra spare adults that weren't busy having sex and trying to make babies.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Am I gonna take this dog too?
This is a PR story about FJ.
Years and years ago, FJ had some dogs. They didn't get along with his wife or something, it's not clear, so he asked PR if he could keep them at CFS. PR said sure, I can do that, and he put them out in the back and they would hang out with the goats and emus and stuff. PR would take them on walks and run them and play with them because they're lonely. They're basically his dogs, except that FJ said that he should be charged for food and stuff. This goes on for like 3 or 4 years. Then one day PR is driving in Cambridge with his wife, and he sees FJ walking a dog down the street. PR yells out the window "Hey! Am I gonna take this dog to CFS too?" FJ's all confused, like what are you talking about? He had totally forgotten about those other dogs, and asked PR to find a nice home for them. He gave them to a lady near CFS, and she baked him something nice for Christmas that year.
Years and years ago, FJ had some dogs. They didn't get along with his wife or something, it's not clear, so he asked PR if he could keep them at CFS. PR said sure, I can do that, and he put them out in the back and they would hang out with the goats and emus and stuff. PR would take them on walks and run them and play with them because they're lonely. They're basically his dogs, except that FJ said that he should be charged for food and stuff. This goes on for like 3 or 4 years. Then one day PR is driving in Cambridge with his wife, and he sees FJ walking a dog down the street. PR yells out the window "Hey! Am I gonna take this dog to CFS too?" FJ's all confused, like what are you talking about? He had totally forgotten about those other dogs, and asked PR to find a nice home for them. He gave them to a lady near CFS, and she baked him something nice for Christmas that year.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
No lions, tigers, or bears.
Over lunch, PR started talking about all the different animals we used to have. Of course we had horses, and people, and the emu, and llamas. But we also had cheetas and coyotes. (I think we had cheetas. I'm not 100% sure) To get the coyotes to run on the treadmill, they put something behind it to scare it. At first it was a dog, but they found out it wasn't approved in the protocol, so they took a recording of the dog barking and played it at the coyote, and that worked!
PR said they were thinking about getting elephants at one point. He told DT, "Hey, lemme know when you're gonna get the elephants, so I can get a life insurance policy."
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
The worst was horses. -PR
PR has been here forever and ever. He has the best stories. I'm going to document them here.
In the midst of our turkey poop fiasco, PR tells us "You think turkeys are bad. You should see the emu. But you know what the worst was? The worst was horses.
"Back then we had this treadmill point this way, towards the windows. We had to line the whole side of the room with plastic because of the poop. The treadmill was running so fast, the poop would fly everywhere. And we had to have two people with towels to wipe the poop off the treadmill while the horses were running so they wouldn't slip." We asked him if they thought of using the bags that they put on horses in parades, but it probably would have interfered with the legs at such high speeds.
Then someone comes in, sees us cleaning up the poop, and asks us if we're studying poop. PR says "You know, some people do study it! I got an email a while back from some student who was asking 'Do you know anywhere I can get some animal poop?' The professor who forwarded that email to me said 'You'd better take advantage of this, PR. This is the only opportunity you're gonna have to give this guy shit!'"
In the midst of our turkey poop fiasco, PR tells us "You think turkeys are bad. You should see the emu. But you know what the worst was? The worst was horses.
"Back then we had this treadmill point this way, towards the windows. We had to line the whole side of the room with plastic because of the poop. The treadmill was running so fast, the poop would fly everywhere. And we had to have two people with towels to wipe the poop off the treadmill while the horses were running so they wouldn't slip." We asked him if they thought of using the bags that they put on horses in parades, but it probably would have interfered with the legs at such high speeds.
Then someone comes in, sees us cleaning up the poop, and asks us if we're studying poop. PR says "You know, some people do study it! I got an email a while back from some student who was asking 'Do you know anywhere I can get some animal poop?' The professor who forwarded that email to me said 'You'd better take advantage of this, PR. This is the only opportunity you're gonna have to give this guy shit!'"
Since when did our turkey become a slut?! -GC
So... the turkey has chlamydia.
We had been running the turkey for a few weeks and she was steadily improving. We got her up to 9 mph (the end-goal is 11)! She was doing really well.
Then she started not doing so well. She seemed really scared and agitated for some reason. We couldn't really think of why, except that 4 guinea fowl had moved in with her recently, but that shouldn't be too stressful.
One day we get the turkey on the treadmill and she starts running. At this point, I suspected that I was allergic to the turkey, so I was keeping my distance. At a very slow speed, less than 3 mph she lets out this impressive amount of diarrhea. It's a nasty color, and nasty smelling. Usually poo falls off the treadmill as the belt travels under the treadmill, but this stuck and went all the way around, meaning it caught on the flap that keeps the turkey on. GC started to clean it up, and I went to go get air freshener. Every time GC got it all wiped up, the turkey would do it again. GC put her back in the coop with the guinea fowl and we mopped up the entire floor, and I turned on the treadmill to a low speed, then used one of those brushes you see zoo workers use to scrub elephants and hippos to scrub the treadmill and get the diarrhea out of the belt. The smell traveled throughout the entire building, and people who work on the other side came by to see what smelled so bad. We opened the windows and left early that day. The sad part was, we were thinking of getting ice cream too, but we decided that if we ate anything we would barf.
A few days later, the vet comes out and takes samples from the birds and says that the turkey has chlamydia, we should quarantine all the animals, and that we should probably alert our healthcare professionals. So I'm going to the doctor tomorrow to get tested for chlamydia.
I miss cockroaches.
We had been running the turkey for a few weeks and she was steadily improving. We got her up to 9 mph (the end-goal is 11)! She was doing really well.
Then she started not doing so well. She seemed really scared and agitated for some reason. We couldn't really think of why, except that 4 guinea fowl had moved in with her recently, but that shouldn't be too stressful.
One day we get the turkey on the treadmill and she starts running. At this point, I suspected that I was allergic to the turkey, so I was keeping my distance. At a very slow speed, less than 3 mph she lets out this impressive amount of diarrhea. It's a nasty color, and nasty smelling. Usually poo falls off the treadmill as the belt travels under the treadmill, but this stuck and went all the way around, meaning it caught on the flap that keeps the turkey on. GC started to clean it up, and I went to go get air freshener. Every time GC got it all wiped up, the turkey would do it again. GC put her back in the coop with the guinea fowl and we mopped up the entire floor, and I turned on the treadmill to a low speed, then used one of those brushes you see zoo workers use to scrub elephants and hippos to scrub the treadmill and get the diarrhea out of the belt. The smell traveled throughout the entire building, and people who work on the other side came by to see what smelled so bad. We opened the windows and left early that day. The sad part was, we were thinking of getting ice cream too, but we decided that if we ate anything we would barf.
A few days later, the vet comes out and takes samples from the birds and says that the turkey has chlamydia, we should quarantine all the animals, and that we should probably alert our healthcare professionals. So I'm going to the doctor tomorrow to get tested for chlamydia.
I miss cockroaches.
well stop touching turkeys then -MW
I'm new. I've been given a couple of temporary projects until everything gets sorted out. One of them involves training a turkey to run on a treadmill. We're trying to get her to run up to 11 miles per hour.
She's molting, so her feathers are everywhere. The first day we got her to 4 mph. We give her breaks when she's tired. We wear scrubs and gloves, but sometimes she flaps around.
Over the weekend what I thought was nothing but a slight sunburn, or change of climate turns into this insane rash on my arms and legs that is dry, red, swollen, and itchy. I changed a lot of things at the same time, so it could be caused by one of the following things (in order of likelihood): turkey, sleeping on a dorm room floor, switching from body wash to soap, switching from lotion to baby oil, change of climate including more sunlight, heat, and humidity. So I started using really mild body wash, using sunscreen as lotion all the time, but still sleeping on the floor and touching the turkey. This rash does not go away. I start sleeping on a couch but continue to touch the turkey and it doesn't go away. By process of elimination I determine that I am allergic to turkeys. Which is weird, because I've never been allergic to any animal before.
I see a dermatologist, who asks me "So... what are you doing with these turkeys?" I explain my research to her, and she tells me that yes, it does look like I have contact dermatitis, and it's probably because of the turkey. She tells me to prevent re-exposure and use sunscreen.
Now I have to find a new project to work on.
She's molting, so her feathers are everywhere. The first day we got her to 4 mph. We give her breaks when she's tired. We wear scrubs and gloves, but sometimes she flaps around.
Over the weekend what I thought was nothing but a slight sunburn, or change of climate turns into this insane rash on my arms and legs that is dry, red, swollen, and itchy. I changed a lot of things at the same time, so it could be caused by one of the following things (in order of likelihood): turkey, sleeping on a dorm room floor, switching from body wash to soap, switching from lotion to baby oil, change of climate including more sunlight, heat, and humidity. So I started using really mild body wash, using sunscreen as lotion all the time, but still sleeping on the floor and touching the turkey. This rash does not go away. I start sleeping on a couch but continue to touch the turkey and it doesn't go away. By process of elimination I determine that I am allergic to turkeys. Which is weird, because I've never been allergic to any animal before.
I see a dermatologist, who asks me "So... what are you doing with these turkeys?" I explain my research to her, and she tells me that yes, it does look like I have contact dermatitis, and it's probably because of the turkey. She tells me to prevent re-exposure and use sunscreen.
Now I have to find a new project to work on.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)